Re: Tell me if you've heard this one.
Mon, 28 Apr 1997 10:48:46 -0400 (EDT)

Steve Witham graded my response with:

> I think Franklin VanArdoy gets a B. Extra points for saying it's a
> schizophrenia test, but then points off for saying "You don't want to
> pass it." How mundane! What is this world coming to!?

In my own defense, I would like to emphasize the passing of the test over the
test itself.
For anyone who has spent time in a county or state psychiatric facility under
court order or threat thereof, no explanation is necessary. It is for those
who have not *yet* encountered this barbarism that I defend my statement.
Different states have different labels for the incarceration without trial of
persons to be held in psychiatric facilities. In Arizona, where I worked in
such a facility, a court ordered psychiatric evaluation is called a Title 36,
which is often "upgraded" to a Chapter 36 Psychiatric Treatment. The latter
is the equivalent of imprisonment--should the C-36 patient refuse treatment,
ie refuse to be medicated, he will be physically restrained and injected with
an assortment of psychotropic chemicals until he submits. The former is
typical of the Catch 22s found in our legal system. Any patient under a T-36
may refuse treatment, but his refusal is documented and presented before the
court in the C-36 hearings. You see, a sane individual would never refuse
We had a lawyer who was court ordered for a T-36 last summer. He came in
speaking about covert CIA operations to which he was privy. He also claimed
that he had a Mercedes Benz 600 with an AMG engine, specific modifications,
etc. In the privacy of the nurse's station several of the nurses would laugh
at the gentleman when he would talk about the CIA activities abroad. That
was until one day when an LPN documented the subject matter of her dialogue
with him and joked about the latest dilusions to come from this
schizophrenic. Fortunately for our abused lawyer I was familiar with every
one of the incidents he had just cited, and gave additional information on
each. Unfortunately for him I was not invited to testify at the C-36
And I take no pleasure in admitting that I myself have been on both sides of
this punishment.
So perhaps passing a test for schizophrenia isn't so desirable after all.
By the way, after the lawyer was released, with a court order to return daily
for continued medication, he drove past me while I was pedaling back to
campus. His Mercedes Benz 600 sped passed me in what seemed like a 0-40mph
acceleration in about 3 seconds. ;-)