As a recently engaged extropian, I feel I can offer some insight into this
discussion.
One will always find the best relationships with their intellectual peers.
Due to the lingering effects of our patriarchy, today's women are still
mostly airheads. I have long since discovered that true love with such an
airhead is impossible.
However, there are a good number of intellectually gifted women nowadays,
they're just hard to find. And for them, it is likewise hard to find
intellectually compatible men, for most men are airheads, too, despite their
advantages.
Then there's the geek factor. Let's face it. Most people that have the
brains to be extropian are lacking in looks, social skills, or both. It
takes a lot of deprogramming for those who are both intelligent AND good
looking to realize that the intelligence is the most important factor and go
for the nerd instead of the babe or jock.
There is also the fact that high intelligence (and the money that it often
brings) gives you the ability to seduce the more beautiful members of the
opposite sex that would be otherwise inaccessible to you. Many social
extropians will choose this path and never discover the joys of dating an
intellectual equal.
Then there's the typically extropian tendency to sit on the computer all day
writing code or posting to the usenet. This rarely leads to marriage.
Plus, there is the implication of monogamy that exists in traditional
marriage that anyone with half a brain realizes is a pile of dog-doo (or at
least acts accordingly). Marriage is often shunned by extropians seeking to
abandon the chains of the past and build an exciting new high-tech future.
Many long-term couplings amongst extropians might not take on the form of
marriage as a result.
All in all, there is a very low probability of any two extropians of
opposite sexes meeting each other, much less falling in love and choosing to
commit to marrige.
However, none of this is grounds to abandon the idea of a life-long
committed relationship with a member of the same or opposite sex. Nobody
said you have to conform to all the rules implied by marriage in our
culture, and one's brain is greatly enhanced by the physical and mental
stimulation of a steady partner. So here's what we've done.
Lauren and I decided to get married while having breakfast at Shoney's
following an all-nighter working on our Internet business (I found that
quite romantic, in an extropian sort of way). Since we already live
together, have a joint checking account, and are partners in a business, we
have viewed marriage as a formality. And our decision to get married was a
decision to go through the legal formality of marriage in order to derive
the benefits our legal system and culture give to married couples.
We're going to sign the papers at the courthouse and take care of the legal
formality now. When we've got enough money to throw a decent party, we'll
take care of the ceremonial aspect of marriage--which can be cool if done
right.
We practice an open relationship, which gives us the freedom to creatively
explore our sexuality and love with other people without divorce, jealousy,
regret or any other negatives (except herpes which a good extropian would
cure). I think that open relationships would save most marriages, or at
least make them more fun. Most extropians don't get married due to aversion
to monogamy, gayness or social withdrawal. Open relationships make marriage
compatible with all but the latter.
Good luck to you all in finding true extropic love--it's very much worth it.
Aaron Tyrrell
CEO - Meta Enterprises, LLC
<http://www.metaculture.net/>
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Mon May 28 2001 - 09:50:21 MDT