------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
From: "Geoffrey (Jeff) Nickerson" <Geoffrey@allworld.net>
Organization: ALLWORLD Internet Services
To: JokeLovers@allworld.net
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1998 13:54:10 -0700
Subject: Joke of the Day! (Johnny's Little Red Fire Engine)
Reply-to: Please send non-copyrighted jokes to <Jokes@allworld.net>
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Hello Joke Lover,
Tuesday, April 14, 1998
25,664 Subscribers
-o- Johnny's Little Red Fire Engine
-o- Pragmatic Solutions
-o- Sleeping Arrangements
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+ Updates and Editorials
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Welcome to all the new subscribers. Thank you all for joining us.
Please see the editorial section below the jokes. Jeff--
Johnny's Little Red Fire Engine
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A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that little
Johnny was wearing a red fire man's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It
appeared that the wagon was being pulled slowly by a large Labrador
Retriever.
When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Johnny had a rope
tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the
dog was walking so gingerly.
Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire
engine you have there son, but I'll bet the dog would pull you faster
if you tied that rope around his neck."
"Yeah," Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Contributed by: Will
VIA BONITA - For Gifts by Way of Beauty
You are certain to like Bonnie's elegantly displayed selection of fine
goods. Complete her survey for a $5.00 in-store gift certificate!
http://www.bonniesboxes.com
Bonus joke...
Pragmatic Solutions
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A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on "Knowing my own Hidden
Secrets" and "Lies and Deceit," a man wrote the following letter to
the IRS:
"I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my Income
Taxes. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for
$150.00. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
Contributed by: Sylvia
TAXES DONE YET?
Then what are you doing reading jokes? :-D
It's still not too late to do your personal taxes securely online at
http://SecureTax.com/allwld/ You can just get that last minute tax
form, or file an extension - all for free. If you wish to file
electronically, get a 33% discount and pay only $9.95, brought to you
in a partnering arrangement by ALLWORLD Internet Services (us) and
SecureTax.com. Corporate services and forms available too!
Bonus Bonus!!
Sleeping Arrangements
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A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car
trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a
farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room
for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for
forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening.
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the
night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the
door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you , but I can't sleep in the barn.
There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean
animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes
late the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door,
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out
but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered
sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and
complained, but went out to the barn.
Yep, you guessed it! Moments later there was another knock on the
farmers door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and
there stood the pig and the cow.
Contributed by: Pat
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UPDATES & EDITORIALS:
Hope you find enjoyable what we're up to. Many may not know that
there are cartoons below the jokes, right after the updates and
editorial section. There is also my non-award winning "Teaching What
I Most Need to Know" section below the toons, looking at the things
most important in life!
If you haven't already, we invite you to see our laughing Joke
of the Day! T-Shirt design. It sports our colorful and delightful
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We believe that laughter is a vital part of living. Thank you for
assisting the free Joke of the Day! with thoughts to ponder. Your kind
support of us and support of our advertisers makes this all possible.
Again welcome, and to everyone a good day!
Jeff--
____________________________________________________________
CARTOON FUN!!
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Snapshots for a great view on life, by Jason Love:
http://www.allworld.net/allworld/jokes/awjokes.html
And
"Ten Laughs A Day" featuring 10 cartoons a day from the world's
top cartoonists at http://www.obryan.com/10Laughs
____________________________________________________________
The "Teaching What I Most Need to Know" Section:
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To know full and pure love is a matter of rising to your highest
self, being willing to accept the other fully and with an
understanding heart. There must be complete and full trust between
you and the other, which also serves to clear away your and the
other's issues, making it possible for you both to approach the world
with clear eyes and joyful optimistic hearts.
Take care in who you trust for a romantic relationship by listening
to your feelings, but when you find that right person who you know
you can trust, give it your all and then some more. You will find
sides of your self that you hadn't even imagined, blooming freely in
the light of love. And remember always - a relationship is not a
thing from which you need gain, but rather, a joining to which you
give and thereby fully know who you are.
The risks are so worth the incredible feeling of having an
undying bond and trust with the one you love. Your expanding
fullness will come from giving to and boosting up another to untold
dimension, as the other will give to you. Love expands and heals.
Let not fear enter your heart in life or love. Cast it out until
only feelings based in love remain. Do this by facing your feelings
honestly, knowing them, and sharing them.
This giving and building includes letting that person grow and go
should that be what they need. Be true to them always in all ways.
But be true to yourself first and foremost, thereby being true to
the other.
Should your relationship not be able to carry forward for all the
time you live, remember that success in a relationship is not based
on its length. Success in relationships, and all other things, is
based on the fullness of your soul.
Telling of God's Assured Love,
Jeff--
Joke Purveyor and Chief Cook & Bottle Washer
To join Jeff's new mailing list for elaboration on these subjects,
send mailto:Inspiration@allworld.net today.
_______________________________________________________
All material written by Jeff in the above section is Copyright 1998
Geoffrey (Jeff) Nickerson. You may use the material for
non-commercial purposes if credit is this notice is intact. Thanks.
_______________________________________________________
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