META META Tee Hee]

Hara Ra (harara@shamanics.com)
Sun, 20 Apr 1997 19:55:45 -0700


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For all of those who lost the FAQ and want to unsubscribe....

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| Hara Ra <harara@shamanics.com> |
| Box 8334 Santa Cruz, CA 95061 |
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Date: Sat, 19 Apr 1997 01:30:03 -0400
To: humour-list@synapse.net
From: Steve Willoughby <oracle@synapse.net>

Approved: goodlaugh
From: Oracle Service Humor Archives <humour-list-request@lists.synapse.net>
Subject: HUM: Unsubscribing (**1/2)

Found on a discussion list:

At 06:42 PM 4/1/97 -0500, Dave Verschleiser wrote:
>Would someone PLEASE tell me how to unsubscribe from this list???

Heres how to unsubscribe:

First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
Then follow these directions.

The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating
System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be
dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have
fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X"
outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the
connection point until you feel it lock.

The kit is now ready for use. The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the
small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its
initial condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect.
Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
Activate by pressing the blue button.

The controls for System B are located on the opposite side. The red
release switch places the Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be
adjusted manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release
button. The opening is self- adjusting. To secure after use, press
the green button, which simultaneously activates the evaporator and
returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage position.

You may log off if the green exit light is on over the evaporator .
If the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator
requirements has not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy"
call button on the right of the evaporator . He will secure all
facilities from his control panel.

To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in
the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet
immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you.
On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a
"Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be
illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the
desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe
normally.

The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless
you activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When
you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button.
The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro
slippers and place them in their container.

If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue
button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The
knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low,
medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.

After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by
switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If
during the unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings,
place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may
now make the change and repeat the cycle. When the green exit light
goes on, you may log off and have lunch. Please close the door behind
you.

Submitted by: Mark Shnayer @ snet.net

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(o o) THE ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST
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Steve Willoughby's E-mail: HOW TO SUBSCRIBE (It's FREE):

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Copyright Information:
-------------------------
Steven Willoughby is not the author of this piece, and does not claim
to own any copyright privileges to the piece. The work has been
submitted to him as an item for the humor mailing list, and he has
approved it based solely upon its humor content. The list is
nonprofit.

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