Re: Raising children (was GUNS something)

From: Samantha Atkins (
Date: Thu Jan 25 2001 - 00:11:43 MST

Chris Russo wrote:
> >You'd be surprised at how rationally children behave when they're
> >give the opportunity. I can't see why a child would NEED to come up
> >against hard realities. Sometimes the hard realities can't be
> >avoided, but it seems very strange to wish them upon your child or
> >anyone else you love.

It depends very much on the individual child. All children are no more
exactly alike in what they respond to than are all adults. Relative
sweetness and light works with some children and works much better than
anything else. Other children need a firmer approach. And yes, for
some children that includes even corporal punishment judiciously
applied. I know some will not wish to accept that under any
circumstances and no, I can't prove it. But it seems to hold in my
(admittedly limited) experience.

> >
> >No, baby does not HAVE to be left in her crib to cry. This is
> >something you choose to do to her.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate to say that this is how you have chosen
to react to her crying in these particular circumstances? This is much
less biased language. Parents/caretakers and children are in a bit of a
mutual training loop. The flow is not one-way.

> Yes, when our daughter cried upon being put to bed at certain times,
> we let her cry for a bit before going to bed. Training her to go to
> bed at a certain time early on means that she's now very reliable
> about knowing her limits concerning bedtime.

My parents did the same thing. As a result I learned to put myself to
sleep pretty much whenever I wish because it was boring to lay there
awake since I was not allowed to get back up or do something else.

> >I think rather than more discipline, what's needed is for people to
> >understand the learning and thinking process and to acknowledge that
> >learning and thinking cannot be forced.

I agree with you partially concerning learning and think per se iff the
necessary discipline to allow learning in the educational environment is
present. Did you ever try learning when the kids in back are throwing
anything they can get their hands on at everyone else whenever the
teacher turns her back?

- samantha

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