MASTER: Approach, students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be yourguide along the path of Tae Kwon Leap. But be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own
soul. Let us meditate upon this wisdom now. So. Ommmmm... ED: Uh, sir... sir! MASTER: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond? ED: Me. Ed Gruberman. MASTER: Ed Gruberman? ED: Yeah. Uhh, no disrespect or nothing, but, like, how long is this going to take? MASTER: Tae Kwon Leap is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon. ED: So, like, what, an hour or so? MASTER: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience. ED: Yeah, yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take? MASTER: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day. ED: A year? But I want to beat people up right now! I got the pajamas! Ha! Hoo! Yah! MASTER: Beat people up? ED: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves, so I can starttrashing bozos. That's all I came here for. Yoooo! Ah ta ta ta! Pretty good, eh?
ED: Alright! Finally, some action! MASTER: Observe closely, class. BOOT TO THE HEAD. *thump* ED: Ow! You booted me in the head! MASTER: You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. Few novices experience somuch of Tae Kwon Leap so soon. Now we continue. Ommmmm... ED: Hey! Hey, I wasn't ready. Come and get me now,
shorty! C'mon, are you chicken? MASTER: BOOT TO THE HEAD. *thump* ED: *Ow* Okay, now I'm ready. C'mon, try it now! MASTER: BOOT TO THE HEAD. *thump* ED: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? MASTER: Now, class, we shall return to our... STUDENT 1: Master? MASTER: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge, student. STUDENT 1: Many apologies, Master, but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong. MASTER: What do you mean? STUDENT 1: I want to boot some head, too. MASTER: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman? STUDENT 1: Yes, master. I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent. MASTER: Very good. STUDENT 1: Secondly, get in the first shot. BOOT TO THE HEAD.
MASTER: You missed. STUDENT 1: Uh, yeah... well... I... MASTER: You too shall be honored to learn a lesson. STUDENT 1: There's really no need to... I've gotta be going... MASTER: BOOT TO THE HEAD. *thump* STUDENT 1: Owwwwww! MASTER: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here? STUDENT 2: Uh, yes, master. Not a single one of us could defeat you. MASTER: You gain wisdom, child. STUDENT 2: So we'll have to gang up on you. Get 'im, guys! MASTER: BOOT TO THE HEAD. *thump* *thump* *thump* *thump*
Ommmm... CHORUS: *groan* MASTER: Very good, class.