Re: First-date Intellectual Dazzlement (was: Pig comment)

From: Amara Graps (
Date: Sun Jun 18 2000 - 08:51:41 MDT

From: Adrian Tymes <>, Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2000

>> 2) If you are trying to dazzle her, then she might not find the
>> space or opportunity to state her opinion.
> do you reach this possibility? Getting her to state her opinions
>is the purpose of the above.


Are you in a hurry?

The joy of learning about people is creating an enviroment where
things unfold naturally. People reveal themselves in their own
way, and in their own time.

Why not plant seeds and observe (really observe) and ask questions
here and there and see where they lead?

Attaching yourself strongly to the outcome may be like pushing
on a rope.

I like learning about someone new (whatever kind of new friend that is)
by putting myself in a mode where everything is fresh and it's like I
have a new toy with which to play. Something quite precious.

You could try drawing the girl out by imaginging that she is your
sister that you have not seen in 10 years, and you're genuinely
interested in learning how her life has been all these years. It
might be a warmer enviroment with which to learn about each other.

And personally I'm not that interested in participating in strong
discussions about economics and politics because I went through those kinds
of debates in my 20s, earlier 30s, and I feel that I hammered out pretty well
the baseline of my personal worldview. My life shows alot without
any need to explain or debate(?).

I wrote my previous message in order to show that the approach that
I've seen/experienced used alot by bright guys might seem to the woman to
be a bit arrogant and overwhelming. She's observing and filtering
(quite a lot) too, but her interests, methods (and goals)
are likely to be different.


Amara Graps email:
Computational Physics vita: finger
Multiplex Answers URL:
"If you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into
you." - -Nietzsche

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