Re: Baaaad puns and robolambs

From: Doug Jones (
Date: Sun Jan 07 2001 - 16:51:04 MST

Spike Jones wrote:
> > > > ... "No...", Amara says sheepishly...
> > >
> > > Spike Jones wrote: Amara! One woold think ewe woold...
> > > ...we can discuss those difficult and emotional issues such as
> > > pun control. spike
> Honestly! I am really sorry about this sheep fiasco. I cud not resist!
> Do allow me to redeem myself with an idea I had while hiking
> today, alongside hilly pastures where flocks graze. I recalled
> hearing of western farmers having bad times because of
> losses in their flocks and herds from predatory wolves and
> coyotes. The young calves sometimes get separated from
> their mothers and stand forlornly on the periphery of the
> herd, bleating and mooing. The wolves hear this cry of
> distress and close in, and soon are devouring the helpless
> beast as the greiving mother bawls helplessly.
> Nowthen, seems to me like we could develop a robolamb
> or robocalf which would look just like the carbon based
> variety, and act like it too: it would wander alongside the
> herd, bawling like an orphan. But with an important difference:
> the robolamb would have built-in image recognition, and
> would be able to figure out when the wolf pack was closing
> in! The robolamb would bleat helplessly until the big bad
> wolf came in for the kill, at which time it would turn to
> face the approaching attacker and give the stalking
> carnovore a snoot full of double ought buck.
> The farmers would love such a device! Especially if the
> image recognition software in the robolamb became
> sophisticated enough to distinguish between wolves and
> humans.
> We could think up cutesy brand names for our deadly
> little mechanical sheep, such as... BLamb. Or how about:
> Do Ewe Feel Lucky? Personally, I like: Heeeeere Wolfy
> Wolfy Wolfyyyy...
> Soon a subspecies of wolf would evolve which
> has no appetite whatsoever for sheep or calves. A good
> GPS aboard the robolamb prevents the well-armed
> beast from wandering off into town, giving and entirely new
> meaning to that verse in Revelation 6 regarding people
> fleeing the wrath of the lamb.
> No, dammit I havent been smoking anything! spike

Expen$ive for a small market- but game wardens in India have put up
dummies (dressed in peasant garb) in areas where tigers have attacked
humans. The dummy is wired with 220 VAC, and kitty gets one helluva zot
when he tries to eat the slow monkey. Behavior mod at it finest.

Also, since tigers like to attack from behind, country folk living
around the nature preserve are issued masks to wear on the backs of
their heads. The only people attacked recently have been ones who took
their masks off.

I can't make up anything this silly.

Doug Jones
Rocket Plumber, XCOR Aerospace

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