Re: Baaaad puns and robolambs

From: Spike Jones (
Date: Sat Jan 06 2001 - 23:43:05 MST

> > > ... "No...", Amara says sheepishly...
> >
> > Spike Jones wrote: Amara! One woold think ewe woold...
> > ...we can discuss those difficult and emotional issues such as
> > pun control. spike

Honestly! I am really sorry about this sheep fiasco. I cud not resist!

Do allow me to redeem myself with an idea I had while hiking
today, alongside hilly pastures where flocks graze. I recalled
hearing of western farmers having bad times because of
losses in their flocks and herds from predatory wolves and
coyotes. The young calves sometimes get separated from
their mothers and stand forlornly on the periphery of the
herd, bleating and mooing. The wolves hear this cry of
distress and close in, and soon are devouring the helpless
beast as the greiving mother bawls helplessly.

Nowthen, seems to me like we could develop a robolamb
or robocalf which would look just like the carbon based
variety, and act like it too: it would wander alongside the
herd, bawling like an orphan. But with an important difference:
the robolamb would have built-in image recognition, and
would be able to figure out when the wolf pack was closing
in! The robolamb would bleat helplessly until the big bad
wolf came in for the kill, at which time it would turn to
face the approaching attacker and give the stalking
carnovore a snoot full of double ought buck.

The farmers would love such a device! Especially if the
image recognition software in the robolamb became
sophisticated enough to distinguish between wolves and

We could think up cutesy brand names for our deadly
little mechanical sheep, such as... BLamb. Or how about:
Do Ewe Feel Lucky? Personally, I like: Heeeeere Wolfy
Wolfy Wolfyyyy...

Soon a subspecies of wolf would evolve which
has no appetite whatsoever for sheep or calves. A good
GPS aboard the robolamb prevents the well-armed
beast from wandering off into town, giving and entirely new
meaning to that verse in Revelation 6 regarding people
fleeing the wrath of the lamb.

No, dammit I havent been smoking anything! spike

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