Bye, Bye, Miss Iridium Pie

From: Eliezer S. Yudkowsky (sentience@pobox.com)
Date: Fri Mar 24 2000 - 10:28:07 MST


I won't mark this subject with the HUMOR line. It's just too painful.

--

Bye, Bye, Miss Iridium Pie By Bob Miller

Sung to the tune of: Bye, Bye Miss American Pie, by Don McClean

Long, long time ago I can still remember how the funding made me smile And I knew if we had our time that we could make that payload shine, And maybe make the launch occur on time But '95 made me shiver with every build that we'd deliver Bad news in the high bay, I couldn't go one more day. I can't remember if I sighed when I read how the lawyers lied Something touched me deep inside the day the funding died.

So bye bye Miss Iridium pie, spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Them good old days have now gone by Knowing this'll be the day that it dies This'll be the day that it dies.

Did you write the specs we love and do you have faith in the ones above? And did you like the shirts we wore, did you believe in the 3 oh 4? Well I knew the facts and I spoke to Jim, cause I was standing right next to him They both kicked down the rack and then ran away out back. I was a lonely old software hack with a stack of cards and a line of jack But I knew I was on my back the day the funding died. I started singing:

Bye bye Miss Iridium pie; spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Them good old boards are way up high Knowing this'll be the day that they die This'll be the day that they die.

Well 10 years have now gone by since the gleam got in Bary's eye But that's not what was to be. When investors sang in the court of law in a place where truth brings on awe In a voice that sounds like Craig McCaw. And while the team was looking down The lawyers stole what we had found; the courtroom was adjourned Bankruptcy was returned! And while the judge read a book on sharks, the lawyers danced in the park And we sang dirges in the dark the day the funding died. We started singing:

Bye bye Miss Iridium pie; spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Some good old boys paid seventy five But this'll be the day that it dies This'll be the day that it dies.

Helter Skelter in the summer swelter the cows pies smell and we seek shelter, Our cubicles are all in a row, and we go in and pray for snow. But we know not how it might go Hacker lined up 20 deep. They try to code but need the sleep. We all lay down to snooze, but then someone breaks out the booze. Pizza comes and we go wild, the peppers fly 'cause it too mild. Do you recall what was the deal the day the funding died? We started humming:

Bye bye Miss Iridium pie; spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Them good old rockets reached the sky But this'll be the day that it dies This'll be the day that it dies.

In there we were all in one place trying hard to get in space With no time left to start again. So all be nimble, all be quick, the build is due or we'll be sick 'Cause coding is the devil's only due And as I watched the rocket flare, all eyes left had turned to stare, Bloodshot, tired , and burned to hell. Smiling sweet in the fiery swell, flames climbed high into the sky and we all clapped 'till I thought we'd cry Before the funding died. We started singing:

Bye bye Miss Iridium pie; spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Them good old days are now gone by And this'll be the day that it dies This'll be the day that it dies

I met a man who had the "sight:" I asked him if the program might... But he just smiled and turned away. I went down to the big high bay where I'd seen the payloads years before, But the man there said the payloads wouldn't play. In the halls the techies sighed, the coders laughed, and the testers cried, Not a word was spoken, the stations all were broken. And the three things I admire most: beer, cheese, and hot french toast, I'll be eating out on the coast, the day the funding dies:

And I'll be singing: Bye bye Miss Iridium pie; spent our millions and our billions but we made them fly Those crosslinks work but we don't know why And this'll be the day that it dies This'll be the day that it dies



This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu Jul 27 2000 - 14:06:15 MDT