RE: Of Paroxysms and Politics (was would you vote for this man?)

From: Natasha Vita-More (natasha@natasha.cc)
Date: Sun Aug 31 2003 - 14:11:10 MDT

  • Next message: Natasha Vita-More: "RE: Of Paroxysms and Politics (was would you vote for this man?)"

    At 02:53 PM 8/31/03 +0200, BillK wrote:

    >Whew! Treading on dangerous ground, Spike, asking people to make jokes
    >about libertarianism. Especially on this list. ;)

    Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five. One to screw it in and four to screw it up.

    Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Four. One to screw it in and three to write the environmental-impact
    statement.

    Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One to screw it in and five to share the experience.

    Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those
    Californians trying to share the experience.

    Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None -- they screw in hot tubs!

    Q: How many jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, I'll just sit here in the dark...

    Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

    Q: How many KGB agents does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to change it and the other to check for bugs.

    Q: How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

    Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Depends on what you want to change it into.

    Q: How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why
    the last one went out.

    Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Libertarians never change light bulbs, because someone might enter the
    room who wants to sit in the dark.

    Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops
    it, and the others call for a planning session.
    A2: Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number of one of
    their subordinates to actually change it.

    Q: How many union members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: Are you kidding?
    A2: 50.
    Q2: Why 50?
    A3: It's in the contract.

    Q: How many company biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Four; one to write the proposal, one to design the bulb-changer, one to
    design the bulb-fetcher, and one to design the bulb.

    Q: How many modern artists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Four; one to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them
    in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to their
    bodies, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light
    while all the critics and buyers are sipping wine and smoozing.

    Natasha



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