RE: Taking Children Seriously

From: Emlyn O'regan (oregan.emlyn@healthsolve.com.au)
Date: Thu Jul 10 2003 - 22:13:32 MDT

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    Peter McCluskey wrote:
    > But I'm unconvinced by the TCS claims about what obligations parents
    > have towards their children, as illustrated by this attitude towards
    > carnivorous children:

    (omnivorous)

    > The vegetarian who believes that meat eating ought to be
    > legal ought
    > to buy it for their child and give them the respect they
    > would give
    > another human being.

    Only if the kids request it of course, but care should always be taken to
    make sure that kids are exposed to ideas alternative to the parent's views
    (eg: that eating meat might be ok).

    It's an annoying thing to do, as a parent, and often done poorly (eg: I
    personally am pretty bad at giving an unbiased account of religion to my
    kids), so is better farmed out to someone who can be more positive about it
    (I think).

    In tandem with this, it is of course *essential* to teach your kids that
    adults (and kids) will often err or lie, and that they must evaluate
    everything they are told themselves; never just believe anything (including
    this!).

    > I didn't see any argument that this view is better than the
    > more standard
    > view that the parental payment for the food gives them substantial
    > authority to influence what their children eat, just as it
    > would if they
    > were feeding adult friends. Did anyone see an argument that I missed?

    I believe that I don't own my kids; I chose to have them, and I bear
    responsibility to support them in their lives until they can make it on
    their own. This is tempered with matters of practicality and my obligation
    to protect them from harm, but as far as possible it's their life, not mine.

    On matters of money, although all the financial resources within the family
    are shared (deriving from income earned by the adults), I feel that the kids
    need to have as much say as practical in how resources are spent on matters
    regarding them.

    So the idea that I'd say "you eat this because it's my food bought with my
    money" is not acceptable. What message would it send to my kids? I don't
    want them to feel that they are a burden and only live at my sufferance. Too
    many of us were brought up that way, and it doesn't turn out to have good
    effects, imo.

    Emlyn



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