From: gts (gts_2000@yahoo.com)
Date: Sat Apr 12 2003 - 14:07:40 MDT
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no
middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We
don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it
CBS NEWS
According to the latest Gallup poll, 87% of the American people said that
they believed the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, but
this is because the chicken was only a paycheck away from being homeless,
and because after he lost his job because of Reagan, Bush, and Bush, he
needed to cross the road for prescription drugs
CNN
To escape from the US troops occupying its country
FOX NEWS
To sit on the golden chairs inside the Presidential palace in Baghdad
NANCY PELOSI
We all knew that the chicken would be able to cross the road We all need
to question why we gave up on the inspections
and why so many chickens have died
AL SHARPTON
Why did the "chicken" cross the road?
Why didn't the "cat" or the "dog" cross the road?
You white racist!
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And when you say chicken, it
all depends on your definition of chicken is. I feel her pain.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support
group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe
this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the
road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little
bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
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