"Axis of Just as Evil"

From: gts (gts_2000@yahoo.com)
Date: Fri Mar 28 2003 - 11:43:47 MST

  • Next message: Michael M. Butler: "Re: Frozen blood longevity [was: Rareness...]"

    John Cleese / "Axis of Just as Evil"

    (British Newspaper Article by the "Monty Python" comedian)

    Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
    China, and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as
    Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North
    Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis
    of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for
    starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil, in their
    dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're
    the best evils...best at being evil...we're the best."

    Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although
    they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

    "They told us it was full," said Syrian president Bashar al-Assad.

    "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President
    Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
    had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three,
    and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

    International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
    within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed
    to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs.
    Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat
    Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of
    Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the
    "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". With the
    criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra
    Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries
    That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".

    Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually
    Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while
    Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want
    Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we
    like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While
    wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of
    him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected
    the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'guay",
    accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from
    Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile,
    insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said
    that's only because no one asked them.



    This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Fri Mar 28 2003 - 11:54:45 MST