From: Michael M. Butler (mmb@spies.com)
Date: Fri Feb 28 2003 - 16:26:55 MST
This is not about anything related to anything, especially Iraq.
------- Forwarded message -------
From: Tom Bies <x-plane@mn.rr.com>
To: <xplane-tech@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [xplane-tech] Friday Humor
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2003 16:40:47 -0600
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
> order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
> out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions
> is
> not
> required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
> best meet your needs and desires.
>
> 1. Title
>
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name: ............................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name:..............................................
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> Code Name:..............................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):......../......./......
>
> 4. Serial Number: ........................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
> product you have just purchased:
>
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
> purchase in the near future:
>
> [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
> that apply:)
>
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal check
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's check
>
> 12. Your occupation:
>
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
> interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> participating on a regular basis:
>
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Default on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
> answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
> serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
> mailings
> and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups,
> and
> mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you
> will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
> Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
> McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military Aerospace
> Division
>
>
>
>
>
> All X-Planers need a custom site: http://www.v2k-design.com
>
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>
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>
>
>
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Fri Feb 28 2003 - 16:30:06 MST