Miserable Melodies

From: Amara Graps (amara@amara.com)
Date: Sat Feb 22 2003 - 07:22:47 MST

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    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/

    "Welcome to Miserable Melodies!

    Here, you can experience little known talents of such greats as
    Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, and even Jack Webb. Happy Listening.

    Warning: Some material on this site has been known to disturb
    household pets and some reptiles."

    ---
    Some Selected Miserable Melodies (mostly in the worst rating category)
    Ashcroft, John: Let The Mighty Eagle Soar SOURCE: CNN.com
    "Ashcroft sings-U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft ended a speech
    at a Charlotte, North Carolina seminary with a rousing rendition of
    a song he wrote called 'Let The Eagles Soar' (February 25).
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/ashkroft-eaglesoar.ram
    Rating: Awful
    Foster-Jenkins, Florence: Queen of Night
    "For Madame Jenkins' shortcomings as an artiste were nothing short
    of awesome. A dumpy coloratura soprano, her voice was not even
    mediocre - it was preposterous! She clucked and squawked, trumpeted
    and quavered. She couldn't carry a tune. Her sense of rhythm was
    uncertain. In the treacherous upper registers, her voice often
    vanished into thin air, leaving an audience with its ear cocked for
    notes with which she might just as well have never taxed her
    throat. One critic dolefully described her as 'the first lady of
    the sliding scale.' Peevishly remarked another: 'She sounds like a
    cuckoo in its cups.'"
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/ffjenkins-queenofnight.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Iglesias, Enrique: Rhythm Divine
    "This is a live performance of Enrique Iglesias where his microphone
    is isolated, much like the Linda McCartney Hey Jude auditory
    torture. I guess we know Enrique is human, after all."
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/iglesias.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Ono, Yoko: Don't Worry
    "The full name of this is "Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking
    For Her Hand In The Snow)" and what this means - I have no idea.
    This one really scares animals and be careful; it might make your
    head spin."
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/yoko-dontworry.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Portsmouth Sinfonia: Also Sprach Zarathustra
    "This orchestra, made half of professional musicians, and
    half of amateurs, really slaughters this one."
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/portsmouth-also.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Reynolds, Burt: I Didn't Shake The World Today
    "He didn't shake the world with this song or the album for
    that matter. "
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/breynolds-didntshake.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Shatner, William: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
    "Picture yourself in a studio with an actor...this is another
    William Shatner classic. "
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/shatner-lucysky.ram
    Rating: Auditory Torture
    Zonk, Harry: For What It's Worth
    "This is pretty hysterical. A guy is tap dancing to an instrumental
    version of Buffalo Springfield's 'For What It's Worth.'"
    http://www.miserablemelodies.com/ram/zonk-forwhatitsworth.ram
    Rating: Really Bad
    -- 
    ***********************************************************************
    Amara Graps, PhD             email: amara@amara.com
    Computational Physics        vita:  ftp://ftp.amara.com/pub/resume.txt
    Multiplex Answers            URL:   http://www.amara.com/
    ***********************************************************************
    "If you wish to drown, do not torture yourself with shallow water."
             --A Bulgarian proverb
    


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