Re: millenial madness

Eliezer S. Yudkowsky (
Fri, 10 Dec 1999 01:25:52 -0600

Referring to my handy-dandy copy of the Book of the SubGenius, I find...

BEWARE: the Fake Godjunior, the Anti"Bob", will come before long, bullets cannot stop him, he's one of the deceptively human-looking Advanced Supersonic Nazi Hell Creatures from Beneath the Hollow Earth... THEY are the ones who brought this Buck Rogers monstrosity of microchips and inflation, nothing makes sense anymore and everything costs too much, the weather is weird, WHY DID THEY DO IT? Don't they know they're begging for the flaming sword of Retribution?

REPENT THEN and prepare for the Age of Tribulations, the Time and Half Time, you think last winter was bad, wait till the glaciers are at your driveway, the earth shall shake, the sky shall fall, space junk, tornados, hail the size of Cadillacs, plutonium clouds, chromosome-bending solar flares, the oily stifling of all photosynthesis in the seas, ugly mutant locusts that carry DDT in their stings, famine even in California, a dust bowl in Canada, microwave roach steaks $5.99, drinking water you have to boil first and pay for, recombinant viruses, contagious cancers, one day you'll go to the mirror like poor Bert did to pop a 'blemish' and find your whole face cracking with each pinch like a rotten tomato, The Plague!

The Book of Revelation is an alien text, those space monsters know what they're about to do to us, they knew it 2000 years ago, but what they don't know any more than we do is what The Prescriptures mean when they darkly refer to The Rupture, the cosmic vortex calamity after the Biblical Apocalypse and somehow a godzillion times worse, TIME INTERSECTION, OMICRON EPSILON, the hallucinations are externalized, Monsters from the ID, DON'T LAUGH - what do you think happened to the Elder Gods?

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

Sane Prophet of Doom.

           Eliezer S. Yudkowsky
Running on BeOS           Typing in Dvorak          Programming with Patterns
Voting for Libertarians   Heading for Singularity   There Is A Better Way