> What in the blazes is a "qualia"?
The intrinsic phenomenal features of subjective consciousness, or sense data. Thus, qualia include what it is like to see green grass, to taste salt, to hear birds sing, to have a headache, to feel pain, etc. Providing an adequate account of qualia is sometimes held to be a difficult problem for functionalist explanations of mental states.
Also see , Daniel Dennett, David J. Chalmers, and Eric Lormand.