Re: Dr. Adkins' Diet--Testimonial

Spike Jones (spike66@ibm.net)
Thu, 25 Nov 1999 13:38:36 -0800

> >James Daugherty] ...Lost 25 lbs in about 6 weeks following the Adkins
> diet...

Aw heck, thats nothing. I lost 80 pounds in 3 days. Found a matchbook, said "LOSE WEIGHT! 1 dollar a pound. 555-2345." So I called, she said "Yes sir, how much would you like to lose?" Figuring it was a scam and not wanting to risk
more than ten bucks, I says "ten pounds." She says "Very well, sir, put a check

for 10 dollars in the mail, and we will send out our 10 pound representative at 8 oclock in the morning." So I did and 8 the next morning the doorbell rings and when I opened the door there stands this fetching brunette, nekkid as the day she's born! She said nothing, just handed me a card, which read: If you can catch me, you can have me. So I started chasing, chasing, chasing, caught her, had her, stepped on the scale, 10 pounds lighter! Called back, said: "I wanna lose 20 pounds!" She says "Very well, sir, put a check for 20 dollars in the mail, and we will send out our 20 pound representative at 8 oclock in the

morning." 8 the next morning the doorbell rings and when I opened the door there stands this stunning gorgeous blonde, nekkid as the day she's born! This one was *twice* as comely as the 10 pound representative, hands me a card, If you can catch me you can have me, but she was also twice as fast as Miss 10 Pounds, so i started chasing chasing chasing, and then chasing chasing chasing, finally caught her, had her, lost 20 more pounds! So I was *really* excited then! Called back, said I wanna lose 50 pounds! She says "Sir, 50 pounds is a lot of weight to lose in one day..." I says "I dont care! The check is in the
mail, now send out your 50 pound representative at 0800!" Next morning I get up real early, shower, cologne, rose in the teeth and running shoes only, 0800, the doorbell rings. I go open it up and there stands a 400 pound gorilla,

nekkid as the day he was born. Hands me a card: If I catch you, Im gonna fuck you.

{8^D spike