Re: Quantum Claus

Michael S. Lorrey (
Mon, 28 Dec 1998 10:01:14 -0500

Damien Broderick wrote:

> Belatedly (but perhaps still timely in some other relativistic Frame of
> Reference), I thought people might like to learn about a remarkable new
> Santa theory posted on another list by Carol Ryles, who wrote:
> ==========================
> SANTA CLAUS: A Quantum Perspective.
> Santa knows better than to consult engineers. He is after all, the ‘stuff
> of dreams’ so he knows how to use the ‘dreams of stuff’ to his own
> advantage.
> Think of Santa as a kind of thought experiment – like Schrödinger’s cat or
> Schrödinger’s dog (I would have liked to have seen the puppies), or even .
> . . Schrödinger’s catalyst. (Put your guns away now – I haven’t finished).
> Think of Santa’s sleigh as a sealed box. Inside is every possible toy, all
> superimposed. The box is controlled by a navigation device, directed
> towards each of the [many hundreds of millions of] possible homes. The
> outcome of course, is
> controlled by radioactive decay.

This is an excellent explaination. THis also explains the phenomenon of 'planned obsolescence' in the toy industry. It is a cover for the fact that all the toys Santa delivers only exist as part of their individual Closed Time-Like Curves, which have a wavelength of one year. The kids only think they have forgotten about the old toys, or gotten tired of them. The fact is that when the CTC closes at the next christmas, the toys no longer exist in real space. Using this system, Santa uses no excess energy, conservation is conserved. The childs memory of the now nonexistent toys is merely a resonance effect that dampens out over time. This is why most people don't remember much from childhood, because most of it was overwritten every year by the Sine-Time Clause of Quantum Dynamics....eventually most of it is forgotten. It also explains why the typical kids response to a parent or adult asking what they were doing when they were having so much fun: "I dunno", "I forget", "Nuthin' "......

Mike Lorrey