JOKE: Why God couldn't get a job at a major college

Max More (
Fri, 18 Dec 1998 14:43:42 -0800

Since I enjoyed the Singularity version of the Monty Python parrot sketch so much, and since 'tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la, la la la la [out damn meme!], here's a joke originally posted by QueenMuse:

WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED A JOB AT (Fill in the name of your local college).

  1. He had only one major publication.
  2. It was in Greek and Hebrew.
  3. It had no references.
  4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
  7. No record of working well with colleagues.
  8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
  9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
  10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
  11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
  13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
  14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
  15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
  16. His office hours were infrequent and often held on limited access mountain tops.