JOKE: Maybe (some) people *are* stupid

Max More (
Fri, 18 Dec 1998 14:48:51 -0800

>Actual recorded dialogue of a (note:) former WordPerfect Customer Support
>"Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?"

>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

>"What sort of trouble?"

>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
>"Went away?"

>"They disappeared."

>"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



>"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

>"How do I tell?"

>"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

>"What's a sea-prompt?"

>"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

>"What's a monitor?"

>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

>Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

>"I don't know."

>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"

>"Yes, I think so."

>"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the

>"Yes, it is."

>"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


>"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other

>"Okay, here it is."

>"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."

>"I can't reach."

>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"


>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's


>"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window."

>"Well, turn on the office light then."

>"I can't."

>"No? Why not?"

>"Because there's a power outage."

>"A power ... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
>Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"

>"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

>"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

>"Really? Is it that bad?"

>"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

>"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."