Telephone Wiretaps

my inner geek (
Sun, 29 Nov 1998 01:58:04 +0800

My telephone company is USWEST. Sometimes, my telephone conversations make interesting fodder for discussion.

I hereby grant USWEST and Time-Warner permission to use recordings of my telephone calls in behind the scenes discussions, without further direct interaction with me.

Of course, this bring up the whole question of verification.

Having worked at SGI, I know that special effects experts can fake almost anything, including surveillance audio and video.

This might include pairing the sound of Waterford Crystal toasts, with statements like "Here's to letting go of the gold standard!".

Maybe two glasses touched, or maybe it was just a little digital compositing by the guys at Dreamworks, SKG! (Don't call Richard D. McCormick, Chariman and Chief Executive Officer of U S WEST, Inc., at 303-793-6500, because his secretary is extremely busy these days.)

When thinking about the resonance decay of Waterford Crystal toasts, I can help but ask how long the noise would last if the toast was made using goblets made of diamond?

On an unrelated note: those mass produced backyard flywheel arrays might not be safe underground in Homer's backyard, given the poor drainage and increasing rainfall lately, due to global warming ( Time to bring in the containment experts over at Tupperware ( Now I know why AT&T, USWEST, TCI, and a lot of other forward thinkers are up there in the Rocky Mountains! Where better to put the UPS!? ( or

We're gonna need a UPS to keep those absolutely silent, now you see it, now you don't, MEMS-skinned, disc-shaped space ships afloat! Wouldn't want to see anyone falling out of the sky on the Seattle to Portland shuttle! See

Regarding teledesic, maybe we could do a Hubble style retrofit of Iridium and create a quantum switched two-way neural telepathy system to read the thoughts of the squirrels and chipmunks down on the ground. That would make law enforcement easier, as I try to collect taxes from the blue jays building nests in my backyard!

Just kidding, there's plenty of space in the trees for the birds to build nests, and there are lots of pumpkin seeds for the squirrels!

Is it, or