Re: The JokeMeister <owner-jokes@po.databack.com>: The Daily Joke
Tony Hollick (anduril@cix.compulink.co.uk)
Wed, 5 Nov 97 16:25 GMT0
> From: The JokeMeister <owner-jokes@po.databack.com>
> To: Multiple Recipients of The Daily Joke <owner-jokes@po.databack.com>
> Subject: The Daily Joke - Monday - The Rules of Combat
> Date: Mon, 3 Nov 1997 06:55:35 -0800 (PST)
> Message-ID: <199711031455.GAA15171@po.databack.com>
>
>
> The Daily Joke - Monday - The Rules of Combat
>
> 1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
>
> 2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
>
> 3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
>
> 4. The easy way is always mined.
>
> 5. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
>
> 6. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
>
> 7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
>
> a. When you're ready for them.
> b. When you're not ready for them.
>
> 8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
>
> 9. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
>
> 10. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
>
> 11. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
>
> 12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
> friendly fire.
>
> 13. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
>
> 14. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
>
> 15. When in doubt empty the magazine.
>
> 16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
>
> 17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
>
> 18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
>
> 19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
>
> 20. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a
> plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
>
> 21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever
> volunteer to do anything.
>
> 22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
>
> 23. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
>
> 24. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
> bombed.
>
>
>
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