Re: Human faithfullness [was Re: Fwd: Lanier essay of 2001.12.04]

From: John Grigg (
Date: Mon Dec 10 2001 - 03:30:39 MST

>informing girlfriends I would simply determine whether or not
>a child was mine. That approach rationalizes jealousy very


Damien replied:
Oh dear. That might work for you, my good Mr Spock (but wait! that can't be
right--Robert is a wildly emotional seeming dude, and the better for it),
but it has no bearing on how the genes+culture bias toward feeling jealous
*actually works*. When I had my first fit of numbed, almost vomitous
jealousy, I had been vasectomized for nearly a decade and the woman I was
involved had gotten her tubes tied in her 20s. The possibility of `sneaky
fucker' reproduction therefore had *zero* impact on our feelings... except
via ancient biases inaccessible to rationality. On top of those, of course,
was a complex web of higher-level structures--one's fragile sense of
self-worth, terror of loss of love and the prospect of loneliness, all the
rest of the rich process that makes us human in a social setting.
Damien, I absolutely love how you explain the various factors involved in human sexual jealousy. I see it the same way. I've always liked your fusion of intellect and humanity.

I don't know how many other U.S. listmembers watched it, but tonight I saw three hours worth of programming on The Learning Channel which was on this or related subjects of sexuality! lol The documentary about the research of Masters and Johnson was quite something to say the least! Anyway, I found it interesting to see the topic of jealousy on the list in full force.

How many of you have seen the Desmond Morris series entitled, "The Human Animal?" I found it fascinating, but sometimes felt he was giving opinion as fact. Are female knees really an erogenous zone meant to remind men of buttocks? lol

One plus where religion(especially conservative) is concerned is as an added buttress against infidelity. This would be a big attraction for both men and women. Especially in our day and age, with so many coming from divorced families who want to do better with their own marriages. I know I want to do better then my own folks did. And my natural inclinations are to be attracted to women who are anything but extropian. I want to be happy. lol

best wishes,


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