Urine trouble now, was Re: e-z leaker

From: Michael M. Butler (butler@comp-lib.org)
Date: Sun Nov 11 2001 - 01:40:52 MST

Another significant point about this sort of thing (some variants
being known in some trades as "The Motorman's Friend") is that one
does not completely void all the liquid; and though a healthy person's
urine is generally pretty near sterile while in the body, the same cannot
be said for it sitting around in a piece of ambient-exposed synthetic
tubing, etc.

Combine reflux (slosh) and the incomplete voiding of the bladder proper,
the latter being quite likely for any male who has micturated while sitting
on a firm surface, due to the geometry and location of the relevant
parts--you can easily get UTIs and such. Especially if you don't
completely switch out gear at the next rest stop, and strain the
lizard the old fashioned way to help rinse your personal plumbing out.

Even minus the latex formfitting adaptor, things can get tricky for
guys who don't completely void. They sell things that look like melted
bud vases at aviation shops.

Of course urination while sitting on the seat of a porcelain throne
doesn't present the same pressures (so to speak)--but it can present
other challenges including geometry and hygiene concerns, depending.

Oh, I got that pun in. Call me Mr. Happy!

Spike Jones wrote:
> Whereas there are several extropian motorcyclists, Jeff Davis,
> Greg Burch, J.R. and others, I write the following for them.
> If you are not a motorcyclist or do not like motorcycles, please
> do not read the following story, as it has little if any extropian
> value, as far as I can tell. Thank you. spike
> Extrobikers, There is a product advertised on page 80 of the
> current issue {December 2001} of Rider magazine called the
> E-Z Leaker. Before you go paying 49 dollars for such a device,
> do read of my own attempt at such a thing about 16 years ago.
> Soon after I got the Cavalcade, I noticed there was a drain hole
> just aft of the gas filler. If you overfill the tank, this tube drains
> the fuel harmlessly to the ground. This gave me an idea. Since I
> often rode across the Mojave desert, and out in places like Death
> Valley, where the temperature is often triple digits, {by 8 oclock
> in the morning, I might add} one does not like to stop for any
> reason. I drilled a hole in the bottom of the left glove box in
> order to insert a plastic tube. I could then put a bag of ice in
> the left saddlebag and run a tube up thru that hole in order to
> drink profusely as I was riding.
> Most of the water thus ingested was eliminated by
> perspiration, however some still needed to be drained
> in the traditional fashion. Hoping to do so without
> actually stopping in the brutal heat, I fashioned a little
> invention not so different from the business end of the
> EZ Leaker, using a device which can be purchased for
> 4 bits in many gas station restrooms. Cutting off the end
> and using a rubber band to attach a piece of the plastic
> tube, I inserted the other end of the tube into that gasoline
> drain line and I was all set.
> Or so I thought. On one of those triple digit summer days,
> I set off across the desert, drinking the water as fast as it
> melted, which is to say, extremely. After an hour or so, I
> was ready to try out my new invention. I tried, but nothing
> happened. So I drank more and within half an hour nature
> was calling, loudly. So once again I tried out my new
> invention but once again no success, as my mind was telling me,
> in its own subtle way that my mind uses to tell me such things:
> SPIKE you IDIOT! You cannot piss while riding
> It was right of course. It refused to allow the appropriate
> sphincter to relax. Grimly determined to avoid wasting the
> 75 cents I had already invested in my clever invention,
> I drank still more water and pressed on, until my brain was
> on the receiving end of another set of subtle signals, these
> coming from below: SPIKE! Pull this motorcycle over
> NOW and drain the radiator! NOW!
> I let these two fight it out for a while, and eventually the
> lower region won out. {Doesnt it always?} However
> it was a most difficult and trying experience, and
> furthermore, the aforementioned device from the gas
> station is not actually designed for this particular usage.
> So let us just say "one size fits none" and leave it at that.
> So before you blow 49 bucks on the device presented
> on page 80 of this month's Rider magazine, do fashion
> one yourself for 75 cents and see if you can make it work
> any better than I was able to.
> spike

My moronic mnemonic for smart behavior: "DICKS" == 
diplomacy, integrity, courage, kindness, skepticism.

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