e-z leaker

From: Spike Jones (spike66@attglobal.net)
Date: Sun Nov 11 2001 - 00:22:21 MST

Whereas there are several extropian motorcyclists, Jeff Davis,
Greg Burch, J.R. and others, I write the following for them.
If you are not a motorcyclist or do not like motorcycles, please
do not read the following story, as it has little if any extropian
value, as far as I can tell. Thank you. spike

Extrobikers, There is a product advertised on page 80 of the
current issue {December 2001} of Rider magazine called the
E-Z Leaker. Before you go paying 49 dollars for such a device,
do read of my own attempt at such a thing about 16 years ago.

Soon after I got the Cavalcade, I noticed there was a drain hole
just aft of the gas filler. If you overfill the tank, this tube drains
the fuel harmlessly to the ground. This gave me an idea. Since I
often rode across the Mojave desert, and out in places like Death
Valley, where the temperature is often triple digits, {by 8 oclock
in the morning, I might add} one does not like to stop for any
reason. I drilled a hole in the bottom of the left glove box in
order to insert a plastic tube. I could then put a bag of ice in
the left saddlebag and run a tube up thru that hole in order to
drink profusely as I was riding.

Most of the water thus ingested was eliminated by
perspiration, however some still needed to be drained
in the traditional fashion. Hoping to do so without
actually stopping in the brutal heat, I fashioned a little
invention not so different from the business end of the
EZ Leaker, using a device which can be purchased for
4 bits in many gas station restrooms. Cutting off the end
and using a rubber band to attach a piece of the plastic
tube, I inserted the other end of the tube into that gasoline
drain line and I was all set.

Or so I thought. On one of those triple digit summer days,
I set off across the desert, drinking the water as fast as it
melted, which is to say, extremely. After an hour or so, I
was ready to try out my new invention. I tried, but nothing
happened. So I drank more and within half an hour nature
was calling, loudly. So once again I tried out my new
invention but once again no success, as my mind was telling me,
in its own subtle way that my mind uses to tell me such things:
SPIKE you IDIOT! You cannot piss while riding

It was right of course. It refused to allow the appropriate
sphincter to relax. Grimly determined to avoid wasting the
75 cents I had already invested in my clever invention,
I drank still more water and pressed on, until my brain was
on the receiving end of another set of subtle signals, these
coming from below: SPIKE! Pull this motorcycle over
NOW and drain the radiator! NOW!

I let these two fight it out for a while, and eventually the
lower region won out. {Doesnt it always?} However
it was a most difficult and trying experience, and
furthermore, the aforementioned device from the gas
station is not actually designed for this particular usage.
So let us just say "one size fits none" and leave it at that.

So before you blow 49 bucks on the device presented
on page 80 of this month's Rider magazine, do fashion
one yourself for 75 cents and see if you can make it work
any better than I was able to.


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