Heh Heh Heh

From: Olga Bourlin (fauxever@sprynet.com)
Date: Fri Nov 09 2001 - 12:46:51 MST

Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens
Western North America crops & livestock.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim
dies in the American Territory of the Middle East
(formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Nursing home event... Bill Clinton
denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now
killing thousands in Los Angeles.

Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its
newest version of Windows
so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

 "We have met the enemy and he is us."
Walt Kelly

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