RE: Re: Barely Detectable Aliens

O'Regan, Emlyn (
Tue, 27 Jul 1999 19:52:44 +1000

> You say that almost like it's a bad thing. I'd certainly like to be God
> and
> with a little training I think I'd be very good at it, I just need to get
> the job.
That explains something that's been nagging at me. The big guy seems quite fallible for an omnipotent being. I reckon we got the work-experience (intern?) SI on the case; maybe we are the crappy training ground for gods, where they get their experience and make their mistakes, then move onward and upward to greater career heights, leaving behind the mess for the next trainee.

..."Where's that lightning bolt again? Oh there it is (*fumble*)... shit, now I've set them on fire, how about a little rain to put that out, wait a second, woah, now the place is flooding. SSI, am I in trouble! Wait a sec, I'll just fudge the logs a bit, rub out that bit about piety, add a bit of guff about irreverence and worshipping false idols... there, that'll do the job. Now, there's the off switch, we'll go for a nice round number, 37, 38, 39, 40 - stop. Wait, where's the population, oohhh, there they are, floating around... whip those out, eeyeww, I'll just take a few out of this tank over here...

How do I explain continuity? A big boat, that'll do the trick. I'll just grab some of the backup flora & fauna, mmm, there's not many of those left. Better tweak the gene pool to make it work (can't get caught out on that one like that SI on Rigel IV, woah, he was busted big time, monkeys almost ascended on that little mess-up). Now I'll feed in the false memories to the new subjects, pipe in the historical logs for their cultural memory, and voila!

Crap, I hope I get that job out on the rim soon. This damned planet's such a kludgy mess, and too many millenia on this legacy DNA system is gonna sink my career like a stone. I don't want to end up like those guys working on the 4 humors based system on Alpha Centauri; now there's a melancholic bunch of immortals if ever such existed.

I'm so bored, I think I'll do a bit of system hacking, scrawl my name in the logs. Lets see what they think 'o' that one, ey. Hey, you irreverant carbon slime, here's a pestilence for your trouble! Damn it, what do you mean my 30 uses are up, I hate shareware punishments! Like your getting 25 enlightenment tokens out of me buddy, like hell! I'll just have to make do... Where's the bloody lightening bolt? Oh, there it is (fumble)"...

(insert history of world here)

Emlyn, godless heathen