Re: EXTRO-3 & Gender

Steve Witham (
Sun, 17 Aug 1997 01:51:35 -0400

Robin writes-
>[...] many people in our society are literally starving for sex,
>at least of the sort that they value. [...]

>I fear that these people are just made to feel worse by
>discussion of all the variations beyond their reach.

If the standard types of sex aren't of the sort that one values,
then variations might bring sex-of-the-kind-one-values within
reach. Or sex of a kind one is capable of psychologically, socially
or, er, whatever.

But I would still guess that being turned off by standard sex wasn't why
most sex-starved people are. Unless you count things like embarrassment,
rejection, disease, alienation, psychological warfare within couples,
etc. to be features of standard sex. If people talk about variations on
those things, I (e.g.) might overcome my squeemishness and pay attention.

Robin's post made me realize that I sympathize with outsiders to such
an extent that maybe I'm trying to sympathize with issues that are
more rarified, less mundane than my own. Abstracting can be dangerous.

Other people have said that uncomfortable conversations can be good for
you. But still there's this sense of "brought to you by the sexual
vanguard." To a sex-starved person variety can look like a luxury (even
if it isn't really) and envy can color perception.

Of course sexual "starvation" is largely a matter of perception. You can
live a long healthy life without sex. It's different with food.


--           Steve Witham          web page under deconstruction
"These blues ain't nothin' like the blues I had
 before I paid a little debt I owed.
 When I get these blues I just look back down that road."
   --Jimmy Dale Gilmore