Re: EXTRO-3 & Gender

Sat, 16 Aug 1997 16:47:13 -0400 (EDT)

In a message dated 8/16/97 6:07:43 AM, (Robin Hanson)

>Similarly, many people in our society are literally starving for sex,
>at least of the sort that they value. While our society is rich
>enough to have plenty of food, the market for sex has many more
>frictions that the market for food, and technology has not
>substantially lowered the costs of sex. Many people do not feel they
>are attractive enough to be in much demand sexually, or for other
>reasons are not able to participate. And sexual charity is very
>limited. I fear that these people are just made to feel worse by
>discussion of all the variations beyond their reach.

To some extent, sex isn't something subject to a market. To me, a great part
of the sexual experience is being desired and valued. Really, I can't buy
that. Sure I could hire somebody who might even do a good act, but the fact
that I would have to pay them would always remain as proof that it's just an

I'm not amongst the "starving" at present, nor do I anticipate being so in
the foreseeable future. I do like participating in and reading discussion of
sexual issues as I find that enables me to improve on a good thing; it can
always be better :-)

>Note I'm not proposing to ban such discussions. I'm just describing a
>reason for my unease.

Yet discussing sexual matters is, I think, a good way to improve one's sexual
desirability and confidence. For those who think they are unattractive, it
helps show that non-physical elements are far more important than the media
lets on, and that the range of "desired" is much broader in real life than in
modeling, acting, and pornography. For anybody, knowledge of psychology,
goals, and techniques of sex and sexual attraction allow one to make oneself
more desirable, to more precisely target those who would desire you, and to
make oneself more of a value to one's partner(s).