On Caring for Children

Tony Hollick (anduril@cix.compulink.co.uk)
Fri, 4 Jul 97 04:52 BST-1

Kathryn Aegis and ard-AGAPE discuss the demarcation of Eros, Agape,
sexualitiy, coercion and consent, and the intimate interactive exchange of
conscious contact -- and shared sensual experience -- and intelligent
interconsciousness betwwen people.

Here are some case histories:

Avedon Carol was discussing her being molested, raped and beaten, and her
discovery of the joys of discovering the joys of masturbation for herself
at the age of six.

Avedon; > I will admit that I cannot honestly say I gained nothing from
> being raped. I did learn things about myself that I now consider to be
> valuable.

Anduril > Ferinstance?

Avedon > I do think it is a mistake to assume that a person is "ruined for
>life" as the result of a sexual assault/abuse.

To which I responded: (All of the following is true, BTW)

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Anduril >Well, Avedon, I was subjected to a sexual assault as a child, in our
local woods where I was playing, by a youth who was later given a custodial
sentence for the offence. I don't remember much, except that I hated running
home over sharp stones on unpaved roads with no shoes and socks on (the guy
had taken them away to slow me down). I learned (again) that people can do
things to you if they're bigger and stronger than you are. 'Ruined'? Nope.

I was much more upset by having creosote thrown in my face (blinding
me for three days) when I was 9 or 10. The attacker was never identified.
But 'ruined'? Nope. Unless I'd been permanently blinded, as they feared
I might have been.

I was even more upset by being repeatedly and viciously caned on the
outstretched fingers of my left hand at primary school (making it impossible
to write or play the piano for days at a time), in a -- failed -- attempt to
make me right-handed. Every time i involuntarily moved my outstretched
hand, 'that stroke didn't count.' I don't recall anyone suggesting
prosecuting the headmaster who did it. 'Ruined'? Nope. He did die soon after, ISTR...

At Dulwich College, aged 11 and 12, we had to swim naked (for unexplained
reasons), while the prefects 'talent-spotted' from the balcony.

I was even less pleased when, at Dulwich College, we were subjected to
what I guess we'd have to call two-hour sessions of protracted ritual
torture, for the sexual gratification of the prefects who were doing it to
us, with other prefects looking on, doing things under the newspapers
covering their laps. Some of the better-looking kids were tortured until
they agreed to provide passive and active sexual services to the prefects.
I'm a bit upset that these same prefects have gone on to 'run the country'
now. But 'ruined' by it? Nope. Killing them, OTOH...

I was really angry when, at Geelong Grammar School in Australia, aged 16,
the school authorities set out to destroy my (non-physical) emotional
relationship with a younger boy, aged 14, who had become fond of me. They
leaned heavily on me, which was totally unproductive, so they set to
repeatedly caning _him_, until he became physically incapable of even talking
to me. This I consider _unforgiveable_.

I was given a three-day ultimatum a fortninght before my University
entance exams, that I should submit to being beaten by Robin Gorton and
his house prefects in the _showers_ (not, note carefully, in his study...)

I'm writing a (screen)play on this.

I was more worried by what 'the authorities' were doing to kids all the
while; personality-ablation electroshock; psychosurgery; drug 'treatments';
incarceration in 'institutions'; kidnapping them into 'care' institutions
then shipping them off to the middle of nowhere in Canada and Australia to
build the 'White Commonwealth' (this until the mid-Sixties!). These things
could have ruined my life (they did for tens of thousands).

And all the while, I was growing up under the shadow of military
conscription ('National Service'!) where the military could (try to) destroy
your very identity by gross coercion. I might have volunteered to be a RAF
pilot, but I'd have killed to avoid conscription. This could have 'ruined my
life', I guess.

> Maybe it just goes a long way in helping to evade the issues that
> were raised by the rape/abuse in the first place.

All too true.


[ FX: "Do you want to live forever?" Sandahl Bergman, plaing 'Valeria' ]

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