> > HEAVIEST ELEMENT FOUND!
> > The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered!
> > The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or
> > electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.
> > However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75
> > vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons, giving it an atomic
> > mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in the nucleus
> > by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
> > particles called morons.
> > Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it
> > can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which
> > it
> > comes in contact. According to the discoverer, a tiny amount of
> > Administratium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete.
> > It would normally occur in less than 1 second.
> > Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years. At
> > this time, it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes
> > reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and
> > assistant vice-neutrons exchange place. Some studies have shown
> > that the atomic mass actually increased after each reorganization.
> > Researchers at other labs indicated that Administratium occurs
> > naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain
> > points, such as universities, government agencies, large
> > corporations, and schools. The element can be found in the newest,
> > best-appointed, and best-maintained buildings.
> > Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at
> > any level of concentration, and can easily destroy any productive
> > reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being
> > made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent
> > irreversible damage, but results are not promising. They will,
> > however, keep fighting to control the spread of this deadly
> > element.
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