Re: the fun of being viewed as a sex object (was: Re: Vicious Racism)

From: Samantha Atkins (
Date: Sun Aug 12 2001 - 14:27:26 MDT

Zero Powers wrote:

> This is what I had in mind: When I was an adolescent there were some girls
> who were so sexually attractive to me that I would have done most anything
> to get them in the sack. I knew I had little or no chance of doing that so
> I would pine away in sexual fantasy. If I was a female(particularly a
> sexually attractive female) I imagine there would be no such sexual pining
> away. If I wanted it, I could get it, from just about any guy I wanted.
> (Or at least that's how my warped imagination perceives it working.)
> *That's* what seems like fun to me.

This is a very persistent male myth. And it makes a lot of sense
from the male point of view and basic male hormonal wiring. It
does not feel that way from this side often for many of us. Sex
doesn't hit the same way on this side. There is much more
involved. Sex drives manifest differently and have different
ramifications. The normal generalities apply. Females need to
know the partner is trustworthy and will stick around. Females
have more emotional aspects to sexuality (as a generality) and
so on. So on this side, just getting laid is not the primary
interest. This is not to say we don't get horny and sometimes
simply want to get laid just as much as guys do. But until the
advent of reasonable contraception this was not so simple a
proposition or one not fraught with possible repurcussions. Even
with the pill it entails a lot more emotional complications
generally for women than men.

It is more difficult from this side to have sex just for sex
sake. Or at least I find it so. If I can't let the person into
my heart deeply then the sex part by itself is less fun that
masturbation and much more troublesome.

Being a changeling I was surprised how much difference the
diffferent hormonal mix made and how quickly. For a very short
while it was almost as much fun after the change as you
envision. Then my head and heart began to change very rapidly.
It has led me to an experential based belief that the hormones
activate and inhibit a slew of built-in instinctual patterns as
well as effectively rewiring the emotions differently. I believe
this largely accounts for the actual versus the societally
constructed difference in the genders.

I have seen the reverse happen with female-to-male TS people I
have known. I remember one saying that since he started
testosterone he was so horny that he often feared he would go a
utterly mad and do something totally uncouth.

- samantha

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