chalk ball

From: Spike Jones (
Date: Sat Aug 04 2001 - 23:09:13 MDT

I was touring Angel Island in the San Francisco Bay today and had
a hell of an idea. Angel Island is the west coast version of Ellis Island:
they processed immigrants there. Today the buildings are all out of
commission of course, and they have converted it all to a state park
by removing all the furnishings and glass everywhere so the visiting
proles will not damage themselves. But the shells of the buildings are
all still there.

The info posted in front of the buildings say they are over 100 years
old. They are lying of course. Everyone knows that buildings had not
yet been invented then, nor had islands for that matter. Nor had spell
checkers, for in front of one had chiseled in stone "Administration
Bvilding". One would think someone would have noticed it before
it was actually put in place. I'd like to sneak in a can of paint and put
a red zigzag line under the word Bvilding. As everyone knows, 100
years ago humans lived in caves, tepees and yurts. Or as some
ignorant sign painters called them, yvrts.

Oh, yea, the idea: in those vacant bvildings, we could hold a wicked
paintball match. Of course the local authorities would likely prefer to
not have the interiors of their precious historic bvildings covered with
huge splats of paint. So the idea is to make dry paintballs, that would
explode on impact into a cloud of dust, preferably without inflicting
unnecessary damage on the prole who just got nailed. It would
ideally pop into dust cloud like that which results from clapping two
very dusty erasers. Anyone remember real chalkboard erasers?
We could even make the dry paintballs out of some material that
would be devoured by the local fauna, so the greens would not
get to upset with us. Make them with a shell like on M+Ms with
powdered sugar inside or something.

Wouldn't that be cool? We could play libertarians-from-the-left
vs libertarians-from-the-right, or pro-NMDers vs anti-NMDers.
It would help us satisfy that agressive reptilian thing we still carry
inside us as a vestigial curse from our evolutionary past. Lets face
it, blasting away like that would create a total testosterone high.


ps: Anyone who wants to apply for a patent on enviro-friendly
dry paintballs, go right ahead with my blessing. But Im pretty sure
bvildings were patented about 100 years ago. s

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