RE: English Accents in Texas

From: Reason (
Date: Wed Aug 01 2001 - 23:47:48 MDT

---> Lee Corbin

> > (Then I started to notice what an English accent does to
> Texans, after which
> > I stopped paying attention to other things. I swear, it's like
> clubbing baby
> > seals, only you can't stop).
> Would you explain more about that? I think that I may know
> what you are talking about, but I'm not sure.

One day after landing: in Wendy's, cute guy starts chatting me up in the
queue after hearing me talk ("oh my god, you're *english*). Clubbing ensues.

Three days after landing: entering a pool hall (of that peculiar type found
in Texas where the waitresses are selected for appearance and wear those
oddball uniforms); the greeter shakes my hand and won't let go until I
remind her that she's still holding on.

Four days after landing: I'm starting to wonder if accents have potential
military applications. The underlying reasons for the English having managed
to conquer half the known world are becoming apparent to me.


Two weeks after landing: the Brazilian girls. Don't ask. Apparently it works
on them too. Probably just as well the English never got to Brazil.

etc, for an incident every couple of days for five years or so.

It doesn't seem to work so well in the Bay Area, which is a good thing, I'm
coming to think. I guess I'm getting to that stage in life where the process
of eyes glazing over in some cute young thing I've just met provokes
exasperation. It's kinda hard to follow up "like, oh my god, you're
*english*" with a conversation about something (anything! please!) important
or meaningful.


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