Re: A film to be seen and a need for advice

Jutta.Stoeckel (
Fri, 4 Jun 1999 21:43:36 +0200

Sabine K. Stoeckel writes:

Hi John!

My advice is tell her the truth about you, but also tell her why you have told her lies about your age and weight. I'm sure she'll understand, because everyone wants to make a good impression first. I think, she wants to make a good first impression, too. Though she might really be both beautiful and intelligent, she can hardly be perfect. No one is. If she really is interested in you she'll go through this with you. And if everything is fine, then go and see her as soon as possible. I've found also a good advice by Frederick S. Perls for you, this is for the mating game: I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful, if not, it can't be helped.

With all my best wishes for you and her!

john grigg wrote:
> I realize that she is probably out of my league. With her brains and beauty
> she could have almost any man she wanted. I somewhat did back away from her
> because I have been rejected by woman before who I was in love with and had
> dated a long time. I did not want to go through the torment of rejection
> again.
> We had originally talked of her visiting me in Alaska or me going to
> Australia but the trouble started and that was at least for than forgotten.
> And also ticket prices are so expensive. But I may be getting a three of
> four thousand dollar windfall soon that could finance such a trip. But to
> blow so much money on a wild attempt to court a gal so out of my league
> seems a waste of money. But I don't want to be an old man regretting my
> never having done my best to marry her.
> Here is where I have been a fool and a liar. I told her when we first met
> that I was only twenty-five when actually I am thirty-two! But I am told
> all the time how I only look twenty-five but still my lie was wrong and
> stupid. I just got tired of women in their twenties rejecting out of hand
> because I was so "old!"
> I also lied about my weight. I said that I weighed one-hundred and
> seventy-five pounds but actually I only weigh one-hundred and fifty. I have
> had women mock me for being so thin. She told me she was not perfect
> because she considers her build too thin being five foot six and weighing
> only one-hundred and ten pounds. She seems fantastic to a thin guy like me!
> I am six foot one and like I said only one-hundred and fifty pounds.
> I should have told the truth to begin with. I never thought I could meet
> someone so incredible on the net so it didn't seem to matter. And here I am
> barely half done with college if that really. I had a friend tell me I
> should only level with her when and if she gets here. Maybe in person we
> would not click like we did on the net but I doubt that.
> One reason cryonics and extropianism appeals to me so much is that I see the
> unfairness in this world, the highly uneven playing field of life. I want a
> world where everyone gets to be young, good looking, intelligent and well
> cared for. I honestly believe that a hundred years from now the
> technologies will be here to make that present fantasy an economically
> feasible reality for people. Either through the second coming of Christ
> and/or human technology this world will one day be.
> I just had the misfortune of being born in 1967! But I could have been born
> centuries earlier and had no chance at all compared to what I have in the
> year 1999. But should I make it through I will appreciate things infinitely
> more than those born in the easy living 22nd century.
> The mating game is so damn hard and painful. I have read about darwinistic
> psychology and it both bothers and fascinates me. If I just had a much
> bigger balance in my "social currency account" I know I could marry this
> wonderful aussie girl.
> I look forward greatly to any feedback any of you may have to offer. I
> really need some advice on these matters. I thank you all for reading this,
> take care.
> Sincerely,
> John Grigg
> _______________________________________________________________
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Sabine K. Stoeckel

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