Michael Lorrey wrote:
>
> Here's some more humor, on a Microsoft bent:
>
> >>How things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in
> >>the
> >> south...
> >>
> >> 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders.
> >>
> >> 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
> >>
> >> 3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with
> >>a
> >> Hefty bag and some duck tape.
> >>
> >> 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw"
> >>
> >> 5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
> >>
> >> 6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
> >>
> >> 7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized
> >> drunk redneck trying to sing "Freebird!"
> >>
> >> 8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
> >> "Achy-Breaky Heart"
> >>
> >> 9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
> >>
> >> 10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vizhul Basic" and
> >>"Vizhul
> >> C++"
> >>
> >> 11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
> >>
> >> 12. Microsoft Word would be just that: 1 word
> >>
> >> 13. Web browsers would look like front porches.
> >>
> >> 14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, hear?!"
> >>
> >> 15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
> >>
> >> 16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
> >>
> >> 17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Workshed.
> >>
> >> 18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
> >>
> >> 19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire......
> >>
> >> 20. Spreadsheet software would include examples of an inventory of
> >> dead cars in your front yard , on cement blocks.
> >>
> >> 21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
> >>
> >> 22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
> --
> TANSTAAFL!!!
> Michael Lorrey
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> mailto:retroman@tpk.net Inventor of the Lorrey Drive
> Agent Lorrey@ThePentagon.com
> Silo_1013@ThePentagon.com http://www.tpk.net/~retroman/
>
> Mikey's Animatronic Factory
> My Own Nuclear Espionage Agency (MONEA)
> MIKEYMAS(tm): The New Internet Holiday
> Transhumans of New Hampshire (>HNH)
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> #!/usr/local/bin/perl-0777---export-a-crypto-system-sig-RC4-3-lines-PERL
> @k=unpack('C*',pack('H*',shift));for(@t=@s=0..255){$y=($k[$_%@k]+$s[$x=$_
> ]+$y)%256;&S}$x=$y=0;for(unpack('C*',<>)){$x++;$y=($s[$x%=256]+$y)%256;
> &S;print pack(C,$_^=$s[($s[$x]+$s[$y])%256])}sub S{@s[$x,$y]=@s[$y,$x]}