Yet another cool rant forwarded

From: stencil (
Date: Sun Mar 11 2001 - 09:52:36 MST

>Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2001 23:00:06 -0800
>From: "John Marlow" <>
>Subject: Bad Americans(?)
>Found this in my mailbox. I don't QUITE agree with all of it, and one
>point makes no sense--but, hey, I like it. I refrained from posting
>the Heston speech before, thinking it might not be appropriate--so
>this time I'm taking the plunge. And, yes, a cop sent it to me...
>Am I A BAD American?
>I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - Great Legs 
>I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some 
>middle-aged governmental functionary with a bad comb-over that wants
>to give 
>it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about 
>appearing compassionate. 
>I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. 
>I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. 
>I think I'm doing better than the homeless. 
>I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. 
>I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are
>weird or piss me off. 
>I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell
>ask my wife. 
>I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of 
>cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. 
>As a matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak 
>English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so
>you can 
>leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours. 
>I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're 
>running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't
>understand the 
>word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line. 
>I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
>opinions or actions. 
>If I received oral sex from one of my subordinate employees in my 
>office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I
>have been FIRED immediately. 
>I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine
>no political affiliation recount when needed. 
>I know what the definition of lying is. 
>I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you
>for any special loan programs, govm't sponsored bank loans, etc., so
>can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else. 
>I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. 
>I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks. 
>I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T
>Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that 
>crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I
>your right to. 
>I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment 
>than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box. 
>I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or
>on the package. 
>We did not go to some foreign country and risk lives in vain to
>our constitution so that decades later you can tell us it's a living 
>document ever changing and is open to interpretation. 
>I don't hate the rich. 
>I don't pity the poor. 
>I know wrestling is fake. 
>I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage of our
>weren't wealthy enough to own one either. 
>I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous
>than a 
>Hell's Angel with an attitude. 
>I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should
>allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will
>the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in
>the hands 
>of someone with malicious intent. 
>I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and 
>continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next
>system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your
>buddy that 
>invented the Internet to help you. 
>We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have. 
>I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a
>with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say
>I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
>pretend they are a political statement. 
>I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid. 
>I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep 
>silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this
>allowed me that right. I will not conform or compromise just to keep
>hurting somebody's feelings. 
>I am sick to death of "Political Correctness". 
>I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the 
>mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. 
>Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American.
>John Marlow

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