Robin Hanson wrote:
> Women: "We shouldn't have to explain; if you cared about us the fact that
> we are offended should be enough. Surely you know that it is considered
> offensive in our society for men to publicly imply that many women are not
> up to their standards, especially physically."
>
> Men: "But women commonly and publicly say that most men are not up
> to their standards of success, wit, aesthetics, intelligence, etc."
>
> Women: "Yes, of course, it is admirable to publicly admire people for
> these qualities. But it is terrible to publicly reject ugly women.
> Enough! If you ever want sex again you'll stop talking about this."
Hmm...maybe this has been my problem. I, myself, value success, wit,
intelligence, et cetera above physical beauty in my companions, yet I am
a man. Whenever I try to date a woman, one of the things I try is to
hold an intelligent conversation over a wide range of topics, including
some that I estimate the woman knows better than myself - anyone who
can't do that, I do not wish to share my life with. This has rarely
failed to dissapoint, among the ones I have dated. One of them (who I
am still friends with) complained, "It's like talking to God." Though I
am sure she was exaggerating, this type of reaction does get in the way
of the type of relationship I sought: stumbling attempts at
comprehension are not love.
So, is the message I should get from this thread that I should stop
looking for intelligence and just adopt the common male practice of
judging by looks alone? Or just that one of the consequences of
improving oneself is, eventually, increased difficulty in relating to
those who do not? ^_-
(In case you thought I was serious about the first: I choose the second.
If I'm going to live forever anyway, why invest that much emotion in one
who will die on me instead of looking for a match that won't?)
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu Jul 27 2000 - 14:13:14 MDT