Re: The Southern Baptist Extropian

Joe Trusnik (
Thu, 28 Jan 1999 01:03:24 -0500

At 05:39 PM 1/27/99 -0800, Terry Donaghe wrote:
>The Southern Baptist Extropian Church M. B. E. - Pastor Willie Peters,
>PhD. B.S. LSD
>Southern Baptist Extropy: the extent of a system’s intelligence,
>information, order, vitality, and capacity for improvement within the
>wholesome realm of God's children.
>Southern Baptist Extropians: those who seek to increase their
>extroposure to God's Word (hallelujah!).
>South Baptist Extropianism: The evolving transhumanist philosophy that
>Jesus Christ died for our entropy. (Amen!)
>Southern Baptist Extropians apply a specific "brand" of Extropianism -
>specifically that through Jesus Christ our Lord Almighty, we shall be
>provided with scrumptious vittles. And he shall deliver us from
>alcohol consumption.
>The Principles of Southern Baptist Extropianism follows:
>Perpetual Progress: Oh, praise the Lord! Amen brothers and sisters!
>Perpetually… I say perpetually… Amen! Perpetually we progress towards
>the coming of the Lord! Amen! Hallelujah! Can I hear a yes Lord?
>(Yes Lord!) /organ music/
>Self-Transformation: Now, isn't this what it's all about? Yes, Lord!
> Hallelujah! We shall transform ourselves. That's me and you sister!
> And you, brother! Yes! Amen! Hallelujah! Praise God! We say NO
>to demons! NO to the painted woman! NO to the devil alcohol! (Amen!
> Praise God!) Transforming ourselves (Yes, God!) and saying NO to
>dancing! /more organ music/
>Practical Optimism: Yes! Oh, Yes! I can see the Kingdom of Heaven!
>The Pearly Gates! Yes Lord! Yes! Those streets Paved with Gold!
>Intelligent Technology: I have my Electronic Bible here with me
>tonight Brothers and Sisters. Fear ye not the demon of technology,
>for he CAN be tamed. Yes, Lord! Hallelujah. No more flipping pages!
>(No!) No more confusion! (No!) It's ALL at your fingertips, Brother
>and Sisters! (Amen!)
>Open Society: A society! Yes! Amen! A society open to all! Open
>to all that Hear the Word! Amen! Hallelujah! Give us your poor!
>(Yes!) Your down-trodden! (Yes!) Your Masses Yearning to be Free!
>(Yes!) The TRUTH shall set you free! Can I hear an Amen? (AMEN!)
>The Word of God shall SET you free! /organist getting down…/
>Self Direction: We know where we're going! Oh Yes! Onward! Onward
>Christian Extropian soldiers! I can see the light!
>Rational Thinking: I can FEEL the Holy Spirit in this room tonight!
>Whenever two or three… Oh Lord! Oh Lord!
>See, we're just like you. Only, we're right and you're going to HELL!

Amen, brother!