The Southern Baptist Extropian

Terry Donaghe (
Wed, 27 Jan 1999 17:39:41 -0800 (PST)

The Southern Baptist Extropian Church M. B. E. - Pastor Willie Peters, PhD. B.S. LSD

Southern Baptist Extropy: the extent of a system’s intelligence, information, order, vitality, and capacity for improvement within the wholesome realm of God's children.

Southern Baptist Extropians: those who seek to increase their extroposure to God's Word (hallelujah!).

South Baptist Extropianism: The evolving transhumanist philosophy that Jesus Christ died for our entropy. (Amen!)

Southern Baptist Extropians apply a specific "brand" of Extropianism - specifically that through Jesus Christ our Lord Almighty, we shall be provided with scrumptious vittles. And he shall deliver us from alcohol consumption.

The Principles of Southern Baptist Extropianism follows:

Perpetual Progress: Oh, praise the Lord! Amen brothers and sisters! Perpetually… I say perpetually… Amen! Perpetually we progress towards the coming of the Lord! Amen! Hallelujah! Can I hear a yes Lord?
(Yes Lord!) /organ music/

Self-Transformation: Now, isn't this what it's all about? Yes, Lord! Hallelujah! We shall transform ourselves. That's me and you sister! And you, brother! Yes! Amen! Hallelujah! Praise God! We say NO to demons! NO to the painted woman! NO to the devil alcohol! (Amen! Praise God!) Transforming ourselves (Yes, God!) and saying NO to dancing! /more organ music/

Practical Optimism: Yes! Oh, Yes! I can see the Kingdom of Heaven! The Pearly Gates! Yes Lord! Yes! Those streets Paved with Gold!

Intelligent Technology: I have my Electronic Bible here with me tonight Brothers and Sisters. Fear ye not the demon of technology, for he CAN be tamed. Yes, Lord! Hallelujah. No more flipping pages!
(No!) No more confusion! (No!) It's ALL at your fingertips, Brother
and Sisters! (Amen!)

Open Society: A society! Yes! Amen! A society open to all! Open to all that Hear the Word! Amen! Hallelujah! Give us your poor!
(Yes!) Your down-trodden! (Yes!) Your Masses Yearning to be Free!
(Yes!) The TRUTH shall set you free! Can I hear an Amen? (AMEN!)
The Word of God shall SET you free! /organist getting down…/

Self Direction: We know where we're going! Oh Yes! Onward! Onward Christian Extropian soldiers! I can see the light!

Rational Thinking: I can FEEL the Holy Spirit in this room tonight! Whenever two or three… Oh Lord! Oh Lord! Hambalahramahdabulahshamadanraladameoaskalapaladaraspamareoladataralameobiolodonopo-soloradalmeopostumooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Lordie!

See, we're just like you. Only, we're right and you're going to HELL!

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