HUMOR: Nexus Name-storming

Derek Strong (
Fri, 27 Feb 1998 00:58:11 -0800

Below, for your pleasure, a seriously window into the temporarily insane
brain of my bud Kip Repscher. Don't read it if you're easily offended,
have no use for humor, or are not extremely bored.

The Great Nexus Naming Contest is on! The winner (whoever comes up
with a name we eventually decide to use) will receive $40, or a nice back
at our discretion.

Anyway, here it is. Enjoy!



Ok, Hombres:

It's about time we get down to brass tacks (if you want me to not use that
term, just tell me what it's supposed to mean). We need to Play Name-the-
Nexus, and we need to play it now. I've been putting a lot of thought into
this ('bout four-maybe-five minutes) and I've come up with a few.

The Infinity Vessel, Kyp and His Four Bitches, The Super Everything
Nexus+ Stuff 'n' More!, Support Group for Injured Bible Thumpers (Ya
see, I was Thumpin' my Bible to this Playboy, When...), Da Whack Fiva
Down Wid Da Dilly-o, The Vinegar Winsome, Nietzsche's Pulled
Hamstring, Concerto in Kick-Your-Ass Major, Cherry Blossoms, Honey
Bunches of Oafs, Giggling Schoolgirls, Pastry Chefs -- With Attitude, The
Mighty Morphine Powder Wranglers, Spanky's Wasteland,
Sunnyside-Gumps, Fireside Lovin, Dynamic Possum-Jizzum, FunkMaster
Jive-Daddy Squares, Spearhead Dislodged, The Day Ruptured by Wailin'
Strong while Jonesin', Campbell's Coyotes Convene, The Grand Crackers,
Spiffy Matter Hacks, The Toothpaste 8 out of 10 Dentists Recommend,
Mr. Roger's Neighbors, Tepid Firebrand, Witticism's End, O'Leary's
Cateract, Totally Rad Mega-Cool Dudes, Ladybug Death-Knell, Kraken
with a case of the Clap, The Motherboards of Invention, Grateful
Undead (I guess this one's been taken, I suspected as much and my
fears were confirmed by a yahoo search but I still like it), Phat-Nasty
Beats, First Besmirch of Jesus Christ Rocket-Scientist, Smarmy Backlash,
Hunka-Hunka Burnin Toast, Crotch-Rocket Fireplug, Gaussgateers, First
Order of the Frilly-Bonnet Shivs, Flash Dandy Tonka Craze, Wiley
Banditos with Time to Kill, 101 Damnations, Tree Huggers failing to
get to Third Base, Surmisers of the Third Whirled Smores, Squeak of
the Bevel, Turrette Was a F**king C*nt-Bag, Nigel [the cat] and his 8
Bitches, Cassini is the Postal child of safe NASA engineering, Yammer
and Bleat bespeaks the Handler, Coalition for Schoolyard Lawndarts,
Rubella's Kids get Zany, Unholy Vienna Sausage, Snip 'n' Snide, We
Hate Fags for Jesus, To Magnetize one's Pate is Divine, Heavy Load for
the Heavily Snowed, The Meek Shall Take the Earth By Force,
Souls '4' Cheap, Hunger Bunny, Billie's Day At The Zoo, Non-Terrans
for the Random Abduction and Anal Violation of Rural Biped
Tool-Users, Nail His Ass back up (Ralph's, actually), Seamstress
Lynch-Mob, Elvis' Hips and Gate's Posture, The Birch of Jesus's Tryst
of Natter Gay Swanks, Committee for the Objective Review of Those
Fucking Prick Extropian Assholes, Undergraduate Studies in Gettin Down,
I'm Cold and Hungry and There are Wolves After Me, Mobius Strippers,
And Ribaldians.

So, I'm not so good at the one-word wonders that are "Phoenexan"
and "Exclavian". But I haven't heard any stellar suggestions out
of you guys, so piss off! I mean it. If you don't leave me alone
I'm gonna tell ma.