Child rearing

Mark D. Fulwiler (
Thu, 01 Jan 1998 13:59:33 -0700

Hara Ra <> wrote:

> "My father hit me, so this is good child rearing" - Exactly the cycle we
> must break. I have NEVER had to use any kind of violence to "get the
> point across" with my son. How about learning some SKILLS instead of
> continuing the violence you have been TRAINED to perpetrate?

My point was that the fact that my father hit me a few of times (and on
all occasions it was for a good reason) did not turn me into a violent
person.(Actually, even most kids who really are abused do not turn
violent-there is ALWAYS a choice involved.) I'm very happy you never
have hit your kids. Good for you. However, do you really think your
child rearing methods will work with any and all kids? At any rate, the
idea that giving a kid a few whacks on the bottom once in a while
(especially after the kid has been really bad, in this case he
practically killed the family pet!) "perpetuates a cycle of violence" is
just one of those cliches
that I really don't find any empirical support for. How do you explain
the low crime rates in the U.S. from 1932-60 when many, if not most,
parents were giving their kids an occasional spanking?

Please note: I am not defending parents who cause physical damage or hit
their kids for any idiotic thing.(I do not admire Joan Crawford in
"Mommie Dearest.") And I have no problem with anyone who never, ever
spanks their children. However, I really don't understand people who
think that parents who have a different philosophy of discipline than
they do are evil monsters who are turning their kids into sociopaths.
Sorry, I don't buy it.

Mark D. Fulwiler

By the way, I don't have kids. "Good", I'm sure you are thinking , Mr.