Re: anybody out there?

From: Chris Rasch (
Date: Tue Feb 13 2001 - 16:38:58 MST

Franc wrote:

> Hello. I am an immortalist, extropian who's sort of isolated here. I
> live in Montreal and am tired of not being able to interact with
> individuals like myself. I need to share commonality of ideas, and
> perspectives. Not to mention finding a romantic partner as well. how
> should I proceed? Any mailing lists that you know where I can get
> contacts. I'm tired of feeling like the odd man out at gatherings. I
> seem to be the only extropian I know. Least of all romantically. Are
> there any females out there who share such metaphysical aspirations?
> Thanks! :) Franc

Unfortunately, demographics are against you. (I'm assuming you're
male.) Based on anecdotal evidence, the Extropy Institute membership
draws heavily from several populations with high male/female ratios: IT
professionals, scientists, libertarians.

IT professionals: < 30% female
libertarians: <20% female
scientists: depends on field; high female %'s in biology, social
sciences, low female %'s in physics, engineering, and chemistry.

Percentages are from memory, but I think are roughly accurate. I would
be surprised if more than 10% of Extropy Institute's members were

Some suggestions:

1. You may try Science Connect
( a not-for-profit dating
service for individuals with an interest in science or nature. They
charge $110 Canadian/$80 U.S. for annual membership. Members receive
monthly mailings with member profiles. I haven't tried them myself, but
they've been around for several years, and judging from the web site,
they look pretty reputable.

2. Read David Buss's _Evolution of Desire_ for an excellent summary of
what the opposite sex is likely to find attractive. Here's an excerpt:

"The importance of resources to attraction is not limited to Western
cultures. Among the Siriono of eastern Bolivia, one man
who was a particularly unsuccessful hunter and had lost several wives to
men who were better hunters suffered a loss of status
within the group. The anthropologist A. R. Holmberg began hunting with
this man, gave him game that others were told he had
killed, and taught him the art of killing game with a shotgun.
Eventually, as a result of the man's increased hunting prowess, he
'was enjoying the highest status, had acquired several new sex partners,
and was insulting others, instead of being insulted by
them.'" (pg. 101)

Too bad alien anthropologists are unlikely to descend from the skies and
shower gold coins upon you, but maybe you can find some useful tips
nonetheless. You may also find some useful stuff in the Evolution of
Desire FAQ:

3. For inspiration, read Philip Greenspun's Using the Internet to Pick
Up Babes/Hunks at ( about
one man's (ultimately successful) efforts to find a mate via the

"...Email did start to trickle in. Some were thoughtful missives from
women. It wasn't clear that they were interested in romance but at least
they seemed interested in a conversation. Unfortunately, two factors
were working against me. First, I was too busy with my existing friends
to have deep conversations with strangers. Second, I got my current
email address back in 1976 which is also about when I formed my
composite image of the average Internet user. In 1976, the Internet was
being used by computer programmers. Computer programmers do not tend to
be especially attractive people. There weren't a whole lot of women on
the Net in 1976 but I don't seem to remember them being any better
looking than the guys. I may look like a wreck myself with my sagging
flesh and fluorescent tan but after watching 97,000 hours of network
television, I feel entitled to a life partner who looks like Christie

For every email message I got from a straight woman, there would be one
message from a gay man. Reflecting the exquisite subtlety and sense for
nuance that one can only acquire by being born an American male, these
were more direct. Still, I was even less enthusiastic about these
messages than I had been about those from women...."

4. Attend Extro 5! Your odds of meeting a compatible female will
increase a great deal. Also try the Alcor Technology Conference,
Foresight Conferences, Institute for Objectivist Study conferences, etc.

5. Meanwhile, you can commiserate with similarly lonely (if for
different reasons) individuals at the Involuntary Celibacy website at
( Or you may decide
the true path to enlightenment requires eschewing desire altogether.
Discover the joys of celibacy at The Celibate FAQ:

Chris Rasch

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