Apologies if you've seen this before...
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully 50% of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score
below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the
average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were
unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as
typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example,
nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously
cumulative: a. 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread. b.
100% of all soldiers have eaten bread. c. 96.9% of all Communist
sympathizers have eaten bread. d. 99.7% of the people involved in air and
auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident. e. 93.1% of
juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the
people born in 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100%
mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as
little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average
American eats more bread than that in one month!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of
cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and
given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items
such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than
90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being
taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey
bread-pudding person.
12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That
kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. Increased
temperatures cause global warming.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between serious
significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical political babbling.
15. Jesus ate bread at his last meal.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Mon May 28 2001 - 09:56:39 MDT