Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

From: gts (gts_2000@yahoo.com)
Date: Sat Apr 12 2003 - 14:07:40 MDT

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    GEORGE W. BUSH

     We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
     just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
     or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no
    middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL

     Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
     satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    HANS BLIX

     We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
     not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

    MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

     The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We
    don't even have a chicken.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN

     This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

    CBS NEWS
     According to the latest Gallup poll, 87% of the American people said that
    they believed the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, but
    this is because the chicken was only a paycheck away from being homeless,
    and because after he lost his job because of Reagan, Bush, and Bush, he
    needed to cross the road for prescription drugs

    CNN
     To escape from the US troops occupying its country

    FOX NEWS
     To sit on the golden chairs inside the Presidential palace in Baghdad

    NANCY PELOSI
     We all knew that the chicken would be able to cross the road We all need
    to question why we gave up on the inspections
      and why so many chickens have died

    AL SHARPTON
     Why did the "chicken" cross the road?
     Why didn't the "cat" or the "dog" cross the road?
     You white racist!

    AL GORE

     I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
    crossing the road represented the application of these two different
    functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
    services to the American people.

    BILL CLINTON

     I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And when you say chicken, it
    all depends on your definition of chicken is. I feel her pain.

    RALPH NADER

     The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
    by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
    of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN

     To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH

     I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
     it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
     I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support
     group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe
    this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the
    road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
    about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
    chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART

     No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
     I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my
     eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little
     bird gave me any insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL

     Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
    plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
    side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
    chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
    say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
    liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
    side."

    DR. SEUSS

     Did the chicken cross the road?
     Did he cross it with a toad?
     Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
     But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY

     To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

     I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA

     In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
    that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS

     Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
     listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story
    of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
    its life-long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON

     Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE

     It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX

     It was an historical inevitability.

    VOLTAIRE

     I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
     defend to the death its right to do it.

    RONALD REAGAN

     What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK

     To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER

     You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have
    to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD

     The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES

     I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
     cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
     documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet
     Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN

     Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    THE BIBLE

     And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
    shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
    rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS

     I missed one?



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