Re: Humor and Intelligence

Doug Jones (
Tue, 19 Oct 1999 20:07:16 -0700

J. R. Molloy wrote:
> Are you sure? I thought Kevorkian used needles, not gas.

It was actually one Esther Cohan, Aug 21, 1995, and yes, he used CO for a lot of suicides. Here's a piece from my script that I performed- (be warned, it ain't some of my best material)

Kevorkian 960617 960620

I'm gonna get real sick here-- bear with me.

I hear that Jack Kevorkian "attended" the suicide, by carbon monoxide, of a woman named Cohen, from Skokie, Illinois.

Oh my god, fifty years after WW2 and they're still gassing Jews!

The Ku Klux Klan will probably give him an honorary membership for that stunt.

Redundant though-- there's already three K's in JacK KevorKian.

At least a white hood would improve the ugly old fart's looks!

But with his hobby it oughta be a BLACK hood.

If I was as ugly as Kevorkian, *I'd* be suicidal.

Or I'd wanta kill people.

The newspapers always say he "attended" a suicide. Is this like "attending" a concert?

Ya know the old antiwar slogan- "What if they held a war and nobody came?"

Well, what if they held a suicide, and nobody went?

He stopped doing it in motel rooms 'cause he always stayed past checkout time...

Yeesh. I can't believe I actually did that in front of an audience.

Doug Jones
Rocket Plumber, Hack comic