JOKE: Why God couldn't get a job at a major college
Max More (max@maxmore.com)
Fri, 18 Dec 1998 14:43:42 -0800
Since I enjoyed the Singularity version of the Monty Python parrot sketch
so much, and since 'tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la, la la la la
[out damn meme!], here's a joke originally posted by QueenMuse:
WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED A JOB AT (Fill in the name of your local college).
- He had only one major publication.
- It was in Greek and Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
- Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
- It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done
since then?
- No record of working well with colleagues.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
- He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the
sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- Some say he had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed
his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and often held on limited access
mountain tops.