HUMOR [Fwd: [Greenies] Year 2000]

Holger Wagner (Holger.Wagner@lrz-muenchen.de)
Sat, 20 Dec 1997 17:58:04 +0100


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hope this is not too well known already...

later,
Holger
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19 Dec 1997 07:39:00 MET
To: greenies@woanders.de
From: ekraemer@pluto.camelot.de (Ekkehard Kraemer)
Subject: [Greenies] Year 2000
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Date: 19 Dec 1997 07:39:00 MET
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Hi!

>Jack, a COBOL programmer, after years of being taken for
>granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the
>UNIX programmers and Client/Server programmers and website
>developers, finally started getting some respect in 1994.
>He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000
>conversions. He was working
>short-term assignments for prestige companies, traveling all
>over the world on different assignments. He was working 70
>and 80 and even 90 hour weeks, but it was worth it.
>
>After a few years of this relentless, mind-numbing work,
>Jack started having problems sleeping and began having
>anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. It had reached a point
>where even the thought of the year 2000 made him nearly
>violent. He must have suffered some sort of breakdown,
>because all he could think about was finding a way he could
>avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.
>
>Jack made a deal with a company that specialized in
>cryogenics to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000.
>This was a very expensive process and totally automated. He
>was thrilled. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up
>in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and
>computer debacles; after the leap day.
>Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.
>
>He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians
>set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his
>heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.
>
>The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern
>room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I
>can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!".
>There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment
>that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.
>
>Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group
>stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is
>it over?" he asked. "Is 2000 already here? Are all the
>millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and
>done with?"
>
>The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with
>the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic
>receptacle: it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was
>actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. But
>the spokesman told Jack that he shouldn't get excited;
>someone important wanted to speak to him.
>
>A wall-sized projection screen displayed the image of a man
>that looked very much like Bill Gates. This man was Prime
>Minister of Earth. He told Jack not to be upset. That this
>was a wonderful time to be alive. That there was world peace
>and no more starvation. That the space program had been
>reinstated and there were colonies on the moon and on Mars.
>That technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone
>had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact
>anyone else on the planet, or to watch any entertainment, or
>to hear any music recorded anywhere.
>
>"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is
>everybody so interested in me?"
>
>"Well," said the Prime Minister. "The year 10000 is just
>around the corner, and it says in your files that you know
>COBOL."

MbG, Ekkehard

---
OS/2 Merlin - mächtig magisch!
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